A Solace for Sick Saints (and a prayer request)

'And I will strengthen them in the LORD:
and they shall walk up and down

in his name, saith the LORD'

▪︎ Zechariah 10:12

"A solace for sick saints. They have grown faint, and they fear that they shall never rise from the doubt and fear; but the great Physician can both remove the disease, and take away the weakness which has come of it. He will strengthen the feeble. This he will do in the best possible way, for it shall be 'in Jehovah.' 

"Our strength is far better in God than in self. In the Lord it causes fellowship, in ourselves it would create pride. In ourselves it would be sadly limited, but in God it knows no bound.

"When strength is given, the believer uses it. He walks up and down in the name of the Lord. What an enjoyment it is to walk abroad after illness, and what a delight to be strong in the Lord after a season of prostration! The Lord gives his people liberty to walk up and down, and an inward leisure to exercise that liberty. 

"Come, my heart, be thou no more sick and sorry - Jesus bids thee be strong, and walk with God in holy contemplation. Obey his word of love."

▪︎ C.H. Spurgeon, "Cheque Book of the Bank of Faith" - October 11th

Illness has increased in our home this month. Would you join us in prayer for healing from a severe case of shingles (not mine) that even shocked the doctor? The pain is hardly allowing for any rest (let alone 'sleep') night or day for the last two weeks. This makes it harder than ever to heal.

Lessons from the Pilgrims, Part 4: "What Could Now Sustain Them?"

Desembarco de los puritanos en América (Antonio Gisbert)

"Being thus arived in a good harbor and brought safe to land, they fell upon their knees & blessed y^e God of heaven, who had brought them over y^e vast & furious ocean, and delivered them from all y^e periles & miseries therof, againe to set their feete on y^e firme and stable earth, their proper elemente.

[ Pronounce y^e = the, y^t = that]

"But hear I cannot but stay and make a pause, and stand half amased at this poore peoples presente condition; and so I thinke will the reader too, when he well considers y^e same. Being thus passed y^e vast ocean, and a sea of troubles before in their preparation... they had now no freinds to wellcome them, nor inns to entertaine or refresh their weatherbeaten bodys, no houses or much less townes to repaire too, to seeke for succoure.

"What could now sustaine them but the spirite of God & his grace? May not & ought not the children of these fathers rightly say: Our faithers were Englishmen which came over this great ocean, and were ready to perish in this willdernes; but they cried unto y^e Lord, and he heard their voyce, and looked on their adversitie, &c. Let them therfore praise y^e Lord, because he is good, & his mercies endure for ever. Yea, let them which have been redeemed of y^e Lord, shew how he hath delivered them from y^e hand of y^e oppressour. When they wandered in y^e deserte willdernes out of y^e way, and found no citie to dwell in, both hungrie, & thirstie, their sowle was overwhelmed in them. Let them confess before y^e Lord his loving kindnes, and his wonderfull works before y^e sons of men.

· William Bradford,  Excerpts from Of Plimoth Plantation

[Free e-book, and audiobook with updated English are available through links in previous post.]

Click here for Lessons from the Pilgrims, Part 3

Come Through the Gloom of Clouded Skies

"Come through the gloom of clouded skies,
The slow dim rain and fog athwart;
Through east winds keen, and wrong and lies
Come and make strong my hopeless heart.

"Come through the sickness and the pain,
The sore unrest that tosses still;
The aching dark that hides the gain
Come and arouse my fainting will.

"Through all the fears that spirits bow
Of what hath been, or may befall,
Come down and talk with me, for Thou
Canst tell me all about them all.

"Come, Lord of life; here is Thy seat,
Heart of all joy, below, above!
One minute let me kiss Thy feet,
And name the names of those I love!"

Poem by George MacDonald as found in his biography by Michael Phillips 

A Rare Bike Ride and Its Consequences

When growing up, it seemed we used our bikes 

almost as much as our legs! Every year we 

looked forward to zipping 5-16 miles a day on 

paved bike trails while staying at a state park 

with our cousins. Otherwise we perfected our 

balance and coordination on the slithery 

gravel around home. 

Then came adult responsibilities and years 

of entrepreneurship and caregiving... 

followed by years of chronic illness with 

hardly strength to walk around the house.

But this summer Elsa and I got out for a 

delightful bike ride again! First we pedaled 

into the strong wind that tempered a hot sun, 

past the old schoolhouse...

... stopping to look at a wild rose, then listened 

to the wind swish through a wheat field as we 

coasted back home being pushed from behind.



But those 2-plus miles of joy carry a big 

price tag for Elsa who has been battling 

another adrenal near-crisis for months past. 

Would you pray for her? It is so hard to 

have days where she cannot even knit - 

let alone tackle the house work and 

cooking she feels calling her.

"We wait in hope for the LORD;

He is our help and our shield.

In Him our hearts rejoice, 

for we trust in His holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, 

O LORD,

even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 33:20-22

A Lesson in Perseverance

September has already marked the completion of my ninety-first pair of mittens. Now they are on their way to Canada to help raise funds for a ministry that brings the light of the gospel of Christ to some of the darkest places on earth.

When I offered to design a unique "Persian Rug" pattern for my friends in this ministry, I had no concerns about finishing them on time. There was more than a month available. But for a variety of reasons, the first mitten didn't turn out. No big deal. I ripped it out and reworked the pattern. 

That was only the beginning of many pattern adjustments and daily problems. One would think that after making ninety pairs of mittens, the process should be easy, right?! Well, one complication was this being my first time to use three colors, which threw my tension out of control. Another was using a finer wool yarn than usual to get the more detailed design. And the rest of the problems were simply dumbfounding.

After nearly 3 weeks, I finally had a pair complete; a process that could have taken less than one week. All that remained was to let them dry from the wet-blocking process. When I found the dense wool still damp a couple of humid days later, I thought I'd finish off the process by sticking them in the turned-off oven a while after we pulled out our supper. 

That would have worked brilliantly... IF I had remembered to take the mittens out that evening. But when I came down the following morning, the kitchen smelled pretty awful. The oven was preheating, and my brain froze with the horror of pulling out the odorous pair with white yarn now the color of a toasted marshmallow. 

It only got worse as I flipped them over. I just stood there and prayed as my sister tried to comfort me. And God clearly gave me His peace.

When I could breathe again, I went straight to my yarn stash, then to the pattern and a scale. Was there enough yarn left to make another pair? Yes! Was there enough time left? Two weeks... should be fine. Next came another reworking of the pattern to fine-tune more details.

Then followed another eight days of baffling problems. Every day I tore out hours of work - knitting and re-knitting what should have been easy on this second pair. Even if my little project was not worthy of enemy attention, it felt like a battle to fight for the Kingdom of God. I know He certainly used these weeks to test my patience and perseverance and to remind me to pray for the people facing much bigger battles as they carry the Truth around the world.

Four weeks (and the equivalent of knitting at least seven mittens) later, I set a new pair to dry in the breeze coming from an air-filter. Success! The only quirk with this pair is that one has a slightly darker base-color than the other since I ran out of the matching grey dye lot. Maybe the winners of these mittens can use that as a reminder to pray for the missionaries they are helping to support - as they persevere through their own difficult days.

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, 

for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." 

Galations 6:9

Summer Storms

Thunderstorms are a regular occurrence in our prairie summers. Sometimes they are mostly noise and wind that cleans dead limbs out of trees or topples the most vulnerable. Other storms, like one last week, sent us to the basement with tornado warnings while it dumped another inch of rain to total more than two inches that day.

"The heavens declare the glory of God..."

Forecasts cause frequent hauling of our deck planters to protect them from the next storm.

With flowers safely tucked in porch and garage, the preying mantis out front was our only "casualty" this time. It is a sweet gift from a friend to remind us of her praying (rather than "preying"!) for us.

2019 Birthdays Begin

Our first two family birthdays for the year are Maren and Jason's. It is always special to make the treck over to celebrate with them. 

This year Jason's grandpa got in on Maren's birthday soon after moving to a local nursing home from out of state.

 Remember what I recently wrote about needing to cook large amounts? For this meal we filled the stove, an extra induction burner, and the Instant Pot! What fun to pull Maren's special Russian china out of the old buffet we grew up with at the lake cabin.

Just a few weeks later comes Jason's birthday. But since we were out of state at the time, he let us come and celebrate a little late.

Party activities included sharing stories and pictures from Florida and taking care of Maren, because (drum roll, please)...

... by this time we were looking forward to a new family birthday -- a baby in November! We praise God for this answer to much prayer and continue to pray for Mama Maren and the little one we are waiting to meet.

Thankfully Maren is past a difficult couple months of 24-hour "morning" sickness and has quit losing weight as food is usually tasting better again. And thankfully this week is cooler than the past which was over 100 degrees in the greenhouses - severely taxing both the new mama and papa every day.

An Earnest Need

'There are briars besetting every path,Which call for patient care;There is a cross in every lot,And an earnest need for prayer.'ANON.

According to Your Word

Psalm 119 used to seem daunting. Not only is it the longest psalm in the Bible, but it is also constantly pointing to God's law, statutes, commandments, precepts, rules... (We could call this the "thesaurus psalm.")

But a couple years ago I downloaded the nearly 18 minutes of audio from the Bible.is app. (*see below) Now Psalm 119 is a favorite to listen to when I need to be refreshed.

Let my cry come before you, O LORD;

give me understanding according to your word!

Let my plea come before you;

deliver me according to your word.

My lips will pour forth praise,

for you teach me your statutes.

My tongue will sing of your word,

for all your commandments are right.

Let your hand be ready to help me,

for I have chosen your precepts.

I long for your salvation, O LORD,

and your law is my delight.

Let my soul live and praise you,

and let your rules help me.

I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant,

for I do not forget your commandments.

Psalm 119:169-176 (ESV)

"O that these holy resolutions and pious breathings were entirely my own! Adored be the never-failing mercy of God! He has made my happiness to depend, not on the uncertain connexions of this life, but upon his own most blessed self,-- a portion that never faileth."

- Henry Martyn (see this earlier post)

*Check out Bible.is for an app that has blessed Elsa and me so much in these years when reading can be hard or impossible.

Acceptance and Celebrations

Another book is going on my "finished reading" list - earning my top rating of three stars. Waiting for a Miracle: Devotions for Those With Affliction by Jan Markell is honest yet God-focused. Near the end is a reading titled "Acceptance Doesn't Mean Giving Up." 

"There are certain tragedies that one is able to accept more than intense short term or chronic illness. The everyday pain, fatigue, and a myriad of other symptoms remind us of their presence 24 hours a day. Here's where a "sacrifice of praise" is needed - even if the praise sounds a bit hollow. God knows we are trying.

"Everything seems out of control. Our bodies are out of control and rule us like a cruel taskmaster. Our limits and our lifestyles are difficult to accept. 

"What if God were to say in a still, small voice, "These are my sufferings ... I am trusting you to go through this experience, even if I never tell you why. Can you do this for me?"

"Grace and trust. They need to make a grand entrance. For the afflicted, getting through a day is simply the result of God's grace. Grace comes by way of trust. Trusting God means believing his purpose is higher and more important than our comfort and convenience. The question remains: "Who will allow God the Father to work out his larger plan?" 

"We can look back longingly for the life we once had. For many, it will return; for others, life will never be the same. Can we make the best of a less than ideal situation for today?...

"Accepting out current situation doesn't mean giving up! It actually provides a base from which we can grow.

"Often at a point of acceptance, God's healing hand moves. But not always. Yes, our dreams were filled with grand expectations and what might have been. We wanted to make an impact on this world.  Unless God allows us to be cured or healed, we must accept that not all our plans will come without a miracle. Thus to better reflect our present dreams and ideals, we set new goals. Scaled down goals. Goals once thought too low to be acceptable, for we were out to save the world. To make an impact. To really count. To be extraordinary.

"Yes, it is possible to construct a life in the spaces between moments of dysfunction. But learning how to keep discomfort and dysfunction at a minimum may require trial and error as our symptoms flare and subside."

That roller-coaster of trial and error show more glaringly whenever we draw near to holidays. What used to be joyful times of traditional family gatherings (though admittedly with their share of stress from too much busyness) are now lonely times of wondering how we can find the strength to even attempt a bit of scaled back celebration at home. And if we pick one outing to be with our lovely relatives (saying "no" to many other great gatherings along the way), much of the enjoyment can be spoiled by how long we will have to pay for the energy expenditure and chemical exposure.

A large part of the holiday struggle can simply be "food." Until one can no longer eat any of the main ingredients, you may not notice just how many holiday celebrations center around food. For those with so many food allergies and sensitivities, this can rob our celebrations of much of the comfort and familiarity of tradition. Even if we ignore the delicious fragrances around us and "forget" the flavors, trying to concoct our own "everything-free" versions of old favorites can be the "the straw that broke the camel's back" at these inherently busier times.

While it is tempting to just throw out the traditional food element altogether as unimportant (and be free to turn more of our enjoyment to God's gifts that we are celebrating anyway), the focus on food is unavoidable when celebrating with "well" people. I remember having to put on blinders to cope with the first years of eating my own packed lunches at the same tables with holiday feasts. Thankfully God can and does answer our prayers for grace to deal with this loss.

Are celebrations and family gatherings worth it?! Is this even in God's will for the use of our limited strength? I believe so. You don't have to read far in the Bible to see that regular celebrations were part of God's plan to help His people remember His faithfulness throughout history and in their own lives.

So, how are Elsa and I going to navigate this maze of trial and error in the coming weeks? Prayer comes first. Then planning and working ahead as much as possible. And just being ready to trust God through the extra suffering. 

It's time to get pumpkin out of the freezer while I count my many blessings...

Answers to Prayer - with Edith Schaeffer

Hour-long sessions sweating out toxins in the sauna pass much more swiftly when you have a good book.

The Tapestry by Edith Schaeffer with its 650 large pages will last me many more hours. But I don't mind! Every time I read it I am encouraged in my faith and inspired to trust God more as He weaves together all the seemingly random or ugly threads of my life with those that even I can recognize as beautiful.

In my last reading, Edith talked about God answering a specific prayer of her husband, Francis Schaeffer [Fran] on behalf of a pressing need in their family. This example was one of only two times so far in his life that he had been answered with an audible voice. She interrupted that story with this bit of encouragement:

I myself have never heard a voice [answering my prayer audibly.] I have had many amazing answers to prayer in a diversity of instances... Is there any "more spiritual" or "less spiritual" kind of answer to prayer? I think not. Fran thinks not. 

God is a personal God, a very personal Father dealing with us as individual children. When He answers by not healing a tragic illness, by not providing some material thing, by not giving the diploma or the job, and instead gives "grace sufficient" and special courage and strength to continue in the midst of disappointment... Then the "victory" of that answer is just as "spiritual" as the provision of whatever has been prayed for, no matter what form that provision took.

I Wish Thy Way

Lord, more and more  
I pray Thee, or by wind or fire, 
Make pure my inmost heart's desire,
And purge the clinging chaff from off the floor.

I wish Thy way;
But when in me myself would rise
And long for something otherwise,
Then, Holy One, take sword and spear, and slay. 

Oh, stay nearby,
Most patient Love, till, by Thy grace,
In this poor silver, Thy bright face
Shows forth in clearness and serenity. 

What will it be
When, like the lily or the rose, 
That in my flowery garden blows, 
I shall be flawless, perfect, Lord, to Thee?

"Is it not good to know that of His work in us on earth, even as of His work through us, there will come a day when He will say, "It is finished"; the chaff will be all winnowed, the I slain - never to take life again - the silver cleansed from the scum of earth, the soul perfect as a flower, and we shall be like Him then, for we shall see Him as He is? [1 John 3:2]"

Entire post quoted from Rose from Brier by Amy Carmichael

Glorious "Waste"

Gloriously wasteful, O my Lord, art thou!
Sunset faints after sunset into the night,
Splendorously dying from thy window sill-
For ever. Sad our poverty doth bow
Before the riches of thy making might:
Sweep from thy space thy systems at they will-
In thee the sun sets every sunset still. 

And in the perfect time, O perfect God,
When we are in our home, our natal home,
When joy shall carry every sacred load,
And from its life and peace no heart shall roam,
What if thou make us able to make like thee-
To light with moons, to clothe with greenery,
To hang gold sunsets o'er a rose and purple sea!

We make, but thou art the creating core.
Whatever thing I dream, invent, or feel,
Thou art the heart of it, the atmosphere.
Thou art inside all love man ever bore;
Yea, the love itself, whatever thing be dear.
Man calls his dog, he follows at his heel,
Because thou first art love, self-caused, essential, mere.

From George MacDonald's Diary of an Old Soul,

March 2, 3, and 5

Perfect Rest

God's word and a furry friend were good company during a recent sleepless night.

"O Lord my God, do Thou Thy holy will,

I will lie still,

I will not stir, lest I forsake Thine arm

And break the charm

That lulls me, clinging to my Father's breast

In perfect rest."

Quoted by a bed-ridden young woman in

The Daisy Chain, or Aspirations by Charlotte M. Yonge

This Day...

This day be with me, Lord, when I go forth,
Be nearer to me than I am able to ask.
In merriment, in converse, or in task,
Walking the street, listening to men of worth,
Or greeting such as only talk and bask,
Be thy thought still my waiting soul around,
And if he come, I shall be watching found.

March 6th, Diary of an Old Soul, by George MacDonald

Trim My Sails

Some more sailing thoughts...
from George MacDonald's Diary of an Old Soul:

Doubt swells and surges, with swelling doubt behind!

My soul in storm is but a tattered sail,

Streaming its ribbons on the torrent gale;

In calm, 'tis but a limp and flapping thing:

Oh, swell it with thy breath; make it a wing,

To sweep through thee the ocean, with thee the wind

Nor rest until in thee its haven it shall find.

'Tis--shall thy will be done for me--or mine,

And I be made a thing not after thine--

My own, and dear in paltriest details?

Shall I be born of God, or of mere man?

Be made like Christ, or on some other plan?

I let all run--set thou and trim my sails;

Home then my course, let blow whatever gales.

- entries from January 12th and February 21st

Nothing Else Will Do

My Lord, I find that nothing else will do,
But follow where thou goest, sit at thy feet,
And where I have thee not, still run to meet.
Roses are scentless, hopeless are the morns,
Rest is but weakness, laughter crackling thorns,
If thou, the Truth, do not make them the true:
Thou are my life, O Christ, and nothing else will do.

George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul, February 4.

Flowers at my cousin's wedding

Don't Wait Till You Break Your Neck!

After four years of illness and treatments, Elsa and I are still sharing the couch off and on throughout the day. And we are still learning what Joni Tada testifies to so beautifully:

"And somewhere in the ensuing years, I discovered that the weakness of those claustrophobic hours was the key to God's peace and power. My enforced stillness was God's way of conforming the inside to what had happened on the outside.

"Now, many years later, my bed is an altar of praise. It's the one spot on this harried planet where I always meet God in relaxed stillness. In fact, as soon as I wheel into my bedroom and see the bed covers pulled back my mind immediately responds, It's time to be still and know more about God. It's time to pray.

"It can be the same for you. When you find yourself in forced stillness--waiting in line, sitting by a hospital bed, or stuck in traffic--instead of fidgeting and fuming, use such moments to practice stillness before God.

"It's a crazy world and life speeds by at a blur, yet God is right in the middle of the craziness. And anywhere, at anytime, we may turn to Him, hear His voice, feel His hand, and catch the fragrance of heaven.

"You can be still and know that He is God. And you don't have to break your neck to find out."

Joni Eareckson Tada, from Holiness in Hidden Places

I may be tall... but not THAT tall! This is one way Elsa and I share the couch.

Heidi's Faith

Every couple of years around here it is time to once again read, or listen to an audio-book of Heidi by Johanna Spyri. Set in the stunning Swiss Alps, the author brings you in among goats grazing in flower-filled pastures in summer, takes you sliding swiftly down the mountain-side in winter, and develops unforgettable characters. This is one of those children's books that continues to be meaningful and endearing no matter how many times it is read, and no matter the age of the reader. 

If you have only seen one of the movie versions, you will have unwittingly come away with a very poor and even twisted idea of this story and its cast of characters. Please read the book to see what all you are missing!

One part of the story line that is (no surprise) misrepresented or entirely missing from the movies is the sincere faith in God that impacts not only Heidi in her time of loneliness and struggle, but is also a key factor in the character of her grandfather.

Take this excerpt, for example:

     "The grandmother called her to come close, and... said, 'Now, child, tell me why you are not happy? Have you still the same trouble at heart?'

     Heidi nodded in reply.

     'Have you told God about it?'

     'Yes.'

     'And do you pray every day that He will make things right and that you may be happy again?'

     'No, I have left off praying.'

     'Do not tell me that, Heidi! Why have you left off praying?'

     'It is of no use, God does not listen,' Heidi went on in an agitated voice, 'and I can understand that when there are so many, many people ... praying to Him every evening that He cannot attend to them all, and He certainly has not heard what I said to Him.'

     'And why are you so sure of that, Heidi?'

     'Because I have prayed for the same thing every day for weeks, and yet God has not done what I asked.'

     'You are wrong, Heidi; you must not think of Him like that. God is a good father to us all, and knows better than we do what is good for us. If we ask Him for something that is not good for us, He does not give it, but something better still, if only we will continue to pray earnestly and do not run away and lose our trust in Him. 

God did not think what you have been praying for was good for you just now; but be sure He heard you, for He can hear and see every one at the same time, because He is a God and not a human being like you and me. And because He thought it was better for you not to have at once what you wanted, He said to Himself: Yes, Heidi shall have what she asks for, but not until the right time comes, so that she may be quite happy. If I do what she wants now, and then one day she sees that it would have been better for her not to have had her own way, she will cry and say, "If only God had not given me what I asked for! it is not so good as I expected!" 

And while God is watching over you, and looking to see if you will trust Him and go on praying to Him every day, and turn to Him for everything you want, you run away and leave off saying your prayers, and forget all about Him. And when God no longer hears the voice of one He knew among those who pray to Him, He lets that person go his own way, that he may learn how foolish he is. And then this one gets into trouble, and cries, "Save me, God, for there is none other to help me," and God says, "Why did you go from Me; I could not help you when you ran away." 

And you would not like to grieve God, would you Heidi, when He only wants to be kind to you? So will you not go and ask Him to forgive you, and continue to pray and to trust Him..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To listen or read the whole book online or by free download, check these links:

Librivox free audiobook: https://librivox.org/heidi-by-johanna-spyri-solo/
Free e-book: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1448

Calm My Hurried Soul

Prose is my modus operandi -- and very plain "here and now" prose at that. But sometimes it just doesn't convey as much meaning as a few carefully chosen lines of verse. (I dare not call it real poetry...)

The following was begun on a few scraps of paper during my private devotions years ago. Maybe a decade. It wasn't until December of 2014 that I pulled together the scraps and added the second half.

Forgotten for a couple of years, I re-read it now and know I need to make this my prayer again.

I try to fly to Your presence
With my feet stuck in the mud.
My mouth says, “Praise You, Lord!”
But my mind is all aflood
                with the things I need to do today,
                a story read when I was eight,
                the way my back and body ache,
                and things too countless to relate.

My mind knows of Your power and grace
To calm my hurried soul,
But it needs to go much deeper
For You to make me whole;
                past the overloaded brain,
                distracted, in a daze;
                deeper than a routine prayer
                uttered with some shallow praise.

Calm my hurried soul;
May I rest in You again.
Sure I’m busy, Lord,
But that need not be a sin,
                unless life crowds out true living
                and plants hurry in my soul,
                and I cannot hear You calling,
                waiting now to make me whole.

Some busy years down the road
You make me lie down… long.
My broken body gave no choice;
My active strength all gone.
                I want to fight; You hold me down
                to trust that You know best;
                to stop to hear the Shepherd’s words,
                “Come to me, and I will give you rest.”

Though still so limited in strength
The urge is hunting me;
A daily struggle, this inner drive,
To find value in activity.
                What’s the truth? God loves me not
                for daily, checked-off lists,
                but just because He made me!
                Do I really believe this??

So, calm my hurried soul.
May I rest in You again.
Help me slow down, Lord
To hear Your voice within;
                fill my life with Your true living;
                plant Your stillness in my soul;
                through pain I hear You calling,
                at work to make me whole.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10