Sawing and Shedding Old Shells

Photos 1&2: After a chainsaw workout.

3: Before. A painful place to mow.

Yes, muscles that have hardly been used in over a decade put up a fuss for a while. But I still count it a "win" to be able to do something like this! (And thanks to Dad for picking up most of the branches as I had to run to town after sawing and mowing.)

Meanwhile, I got to see a cicada crawl out of its old shell and change those little green ripples into wings! So amazing! A first for me.

A strange shape and slight movement caught my eye at the base of a tree. The legs moved so slowly and looked so weak for the immense job at hand. But I was watching when the old, worthless exoskeleton dropped away and the tender body began to expand and harden! Then I checked back in an hour or so and found delicate wings!

Sometimes healing the limbic system / nervous system and connected physical issues can feel like that painfully slow and weak crawl out of an old, dead shell of a life. And then you break free in one area only to be held back in another. 

But God is at work, bringing new life. Eventually the wings unfurl and harden, and it will be time to fly and sing for joy again! (Yes, I like to think of the shrill sound of a cicada as its God-given song which glorifies Him.)

So, keep persevering on your way out of whatever exuviae God wants to set you free from! It's time to molt and grow!

~ Hannah

Reset for a New Year

Happy New Year, Friends!

How many places are you hearing about setting goals and focusing on self-improvement these days? Too many, right?!

Too often it seems that lists of goals and “to-do’s” make us feel like we can earn our own health, joy, peace, etc. And then when we fail to live up to them, they seem more impossible than ever.

But what if we instead chose to look more to the One True Source of all we desire? 

The more I learn about neurology, the more amazed I am at the ways God has built us to renew and rewire our minds around His way of truth for life. (See John 14:6) And yes, this deeply impacts us at the physical level as well.

Let me share a bit from a brain rewiring coach who has had a positive impact on my life and faith (and healing journey) the past few months.

I’d like you to meet Brea.

Picture a strong, athletic blonde about my age. Life and love for God and others shine from her eyes. Enthusiasm rings in her voice. But it wasn’t always that way…

About 7 years ago, Brea was homeless, living outdoors in the desert far from her little children, because her body had become sensitive and reactive to everything.

Then she learned of Brain Rewiring. And then she met Jesus in the desert.

To put it mildly… that changed everything.

Last fall I signed up for a group coaching class with Brea to take my rewiring deeper. I saw so many new wins during this time and got the fresh boost and perspective needed to continue in this journey.

That’s why I’m so excited to invite you to join me for her first, free workshop, starting next Monday: New Year New You, 5-Day Reset!

Let’s hear straight from Brea: “I don’t know what kind of 2024 you’ve had. If you’ve been doing your brain retraining practice consistently, then chances are you’re leaving 2024 better than when it started. Perhaps your life has been turned right side up again like many I have coached. Or maybe you can’t tell much of a difference. If so, I invite you to either revisit your journal or simply think back to where you started or ask a close friend or family member. You might just be surprised at how much better you are now! And guess what? If it’s not good, then He’s not done yet!  “If you haven’t started your healing journey with brain retraining, then friend, 2025 can be your year to heal! Wouldn’t that be great?! “You can dip your toe in the brain retraining waters with my free New Year New You 5-Day Reset that starts Jan 6th. This mini-workshop will be delivered via email over the course of the week and includes some special printable handouts and exercises to get your healing journey started.”

Want to join? Simply follow this link to Brea’s website and sign up through the pop-up form. Or email Amber and ask to join the 5-Day Reset: info@breakatrin.com Then let me know how the Reset goes for you! ~ Hannah: BrainRewiringforLife@gmail.com Learn more in my latest newsletter HERE. P.S. - I'm waiting for more snow to get out snowshoeing with my nephew again!

Hypothyroidism and "Hope in His Steadfast Love"

A few weeks ago I was hiking through deep snow. Then at the end of April I enjoyed the walk in this YouTube Short.

But now it is once again hard to walk as far as the garden, so I am grateful to remember a couple of sitting exercises we learned from a PT back when Aunt Dorothy broke her neck and spent a couple months in a halo. Learn them in my newest Short: 2 Simple Ways to Get Moving! [even if stuck at a computer or couch-bound]

There were years where I couldn't even manage this much exercise. So I can be grateful for this ability even though I recently found out my current form of thyroid medication hasn't been absorbing for a couple months. And since I don't have a thyroid, [see part of that story in this post] it may take a while to get back to my normal.

As my body and brain struggle through the slough of deep hypothyroidism once again, it is a good time to remember that "[God's] delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the legs of a man, but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love." (Psalm 147:10-11)

A Note from Amy Carmichael (& picture from home)

I am shut up, and I cannot come forth. (Psalm 88:8)
Rejoice the soul of Thy servant. (Psalm 86:4)

"Very few of you are shut up. For those few who are, these words will be, I think, a great help. The way of joy is the way of release for our spirit, even though the flesh (which is the least part of us) cannot come forth.

"But I write the words for you today because I think perhaps some are shut up in another way: some difficult thing has to be done, and you do not feel you can do it; you are shut up in discouragement, and you think you cannot come forth. Thank God, you can. There is liberty and victory for you. Look up to Him whose joy is your strength. Pray this prayer: 'Rejoice the soul of Thy servant.' For you too the way of joy is the way of release."

~ Amy Carmichael in Edges of His Ways - March 11

Smile!

SMILE!! 😊

Why?!?

Because smiling and laughing (even when they feel fake) sends signals to our brain that all is well. Our brain then releases "happy hormones" that make us feel even better! 

Rather than staying stuck in the stress, pain, fear, anger, anxiety, or whatever tries to steal our joy (and starts a vicious cycle by releasing stress hormones that hurt us even more)...

Let's choose to smile! 😄

If someone catches you with a smile plastered on your face for no reason, just explain that you are practicing to send healing signals to your brain.

And your smile may just be contagious! ☺️

Meanwhile, remember what God's word says in Nehemiah 8:10 — "the joy of the LORD is your strength."

The Lamb Shall Overcome

Near the end of December, I came to this entry in the daily devotional "Edges of His Ways" compiled from notes written by Amy Carmichael:

These shall war against the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them, for He is Lord of lords, and King of kings; and they also shall overcome that are with Him.
(Revelation 17:14, RV)

These last nine words have been truly spirit and life to me. Sometimes it seems as if the war were against us, but it never is. It is against the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome. It is impossible to imagine anything else but victory for "the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world" (13:8). So all that matters is that we should be with Him, "called and chosen and faithful."

O God of peace, strong is the enemy,
     But Thou art nigh;
And he must fall beneath our feet,
     Because of Calvary.

~ Amy Carmichael



For another excerpt from this book and a free book list including several of my family's favorite devotional books, see the caption of this YouTube Short: https://youtu.be/ZTHYmEvwRNY

I Heard the Bells...

There is a Christmas carol we rarely sing even though we likely hear it played on the radio or in stores every year. It is not in our hymnal, so I had not really studied the words until this year, but I do remember feeling somewhat "turned off" by the second-to-last verse when I first noticed it years ago.

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Now that I know the story behind the original poem, it makes so much sense. Henry Longfellow had lost his beloved wife in a traumatic accident that left him not only emotionally, but also physically, scarred. Then their oldest son had run away to join the American Civil War without his father's consent.

The famous poet was surrounded by strife and pain, loss and death. In those years he even lost his poetry.

But have you ever thought about how fitting it is that a Christmas song should speak of hate and wrong? After all, the first Christmas took place among an oppressed people in a country occupied by a powerful enemy. Even Mary and Joseph's journey to Bethlehem was due to a census which would enable the government to oppress them with further taxes. 

These disheartened people had been waiting centuries for God to fulfill his promises to send them a Savior - the Prince of Peace - which looked more hopeless than ever.

But in this dark time, some lowly shepherds out in their fields at night suddenly heard a multitude of angels praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace,
good will toward men." 
· Luke 2:14

And so, nearly two centuries later, a broken poet heard those words ringing out through the bells of Christmas. And his hope was renewed.

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men."

If you would like to know more of the story behind this song, don't miss the opportunity to go see "I Heard the Bells" in movie theaters for a limited time! Learn more and find showtimes at the official website here: https://www.iheardthebellsmovie.com/

Dad and I got to see the movie on what was supposed to be one of only a few days in theaters, but it has been so well-received that showtimes keep being added. We can personally recommend both this movie and the fledgling company that produced it as their first venture, because we have appreciated the theater productions of its parent company, Sight & Sound Ministries, for years now. 

Though the movie is not yet rated, I would warn that it is not for young children due to a war injury and a tragic death - though they are portrayed very mildly, all things considered.

Finally, here is the entire poem - including verses we do not hear sung.

Christmas Bells

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
Written 1863

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men."

Shut In – Day 281: Giving Thanks for Signs of Hope

Happy Thanksgiving Day! Today it is just the four of us at home, but we hope to enjoy some extended family time tomorrow. And we still plan to find ways to make today a celebration.

But rather than focus on the amazing history of the American Thanksgiving celebrations in this post (see past years for that), today marks another key point in much more ancient history. 

I am still tracking with Noah on the ark.

The last time we checked in, he was sending out scout-birds to get an idea of the state of the flood-ravaged earth. That began two weeks ago. Since the birds did not find anywhere to live other than the ark, Noah set himself to wait another week.

Imaging his joy and thanksgiving when the dove came back with “a freshly plucked olive leaf” in her beak! There was finally a sign of life off of the ark!

We really cannot picture the impact of this one leaf after all those months of death, destruction and isolation. But try to imagine a winter stretching for 11 months with no sign of green… not even a spruce tree or hardy vine to add color to an empty prairie where sky and land are all the color of old snow. You have been kept indoors by the weather the entire 11 months. Even if you had neighbors, you would not have been able to get out to visit them. (Read Laura Ingalls Wilder’s “The Long Winter” for just a partial, but powerful, example of this.)

Then after eleven months unlike anything experienced before or since in the history of the world… you finally see an olive leaf! Praise God!!!

Now, remember that God had shut Noah and his family into the ark, and Noah was still waiting on God’s timing to exit. So we come to today…

“Then he waited another seven days and sent forth the dove, and she did not return to him anymore.” – Genesis 8:12

This was a day to celebrate! There were clear signs of life and hope in the world!

Even when we are living through dark and lonely days, God eventually sends those signs of hope. What are yours today?

A few of mine after nearly 10 years since my health completely crashed include:
- I find myself trotting up the stairs some days!
- Piano practice has become a joy again since I resumed several days a week in October.
- My mind can have more capacity for language study than for years past.
- Chemical exposures have less effect on my body and brain.

And yes, this has all changed since getting the mold out of our house. It was, and still is, so much work and expense… but so worth it for my mom, sister, and me. We are grateful to God!

See previous posts in series here:

Part I: The Lord Shut Him In
Part II: Day 10: The Animals
Part III: Day 20: The Man Noah
Part IV: Day 30: The Walls
Part V: Day 40: What God Says... He Does
Part VI: Day 70: After the Crisis
Part VII: Day 100: When Waiting Turns to Years
Part VIII: Day 150: Touch Down!
Part IX: Day 181: Survival Mode while Shut In
Part X: Day 227: Land, Ho!
Part XI: Day 267: Testing the Waters

Next post: 
Part XIII: Day 319: A Birthday with a View

olive leaf photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

Shut In – Day 70: After the Crisis

You know how a crisis usually brings with it a unique mindset and extra adrenaline to “get through it” – even for those who don’t know God’s gifts of strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.*

But what about when the main crisis is past, and it hits you that life will never be the same? Whether dealing with the loss of a loved one or the loss of your health, strength, and abilities... moving on alone or living in years of “survival mode” can be harder to face than even the crisis itself.

Even while “Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord” – he was still a man like us.



As we follow along on Noah’s journey this year, think a moment of how many different things you have done through the past month. How many different people have you interacted with? (For us that includes several more contractors and building suppliers we are lining up to repair and rebuild after mold remediation.)

But Noah has spent 30 days since the rain ended:
- shut in the ark
- with his same 7 family members
- knowing the earth and every living creature is buried deep in water
- taking care of all the animals

And he still has an unknown amount of time left to wait... for an unknown future.

How does one survive the “endless” waiting? By looking to the only true Hope available.

We wait in hope for the LORD;
He is our help and shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in His holy name.
May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in You.

• Psalm 33:20-22

Other posts in this series:
Part I: The Lord Shut Him In
Part II: Day 10: The Animals
Part III: Day 20: The Man Noah
Part IV: Day 30: The Walls
Part V: Day 40: What God Says... He Does

Next Post:
Part VII: Day 100: When Waiting Turns to Years

* line from Great is Thy Faithfulness by Thomas O. Chisholm, 1923

Amos Fortune: free man

Amos Fortune: free man by Elizabeth Yates is one of those children's books that is meaningful and inspiring no matter what age you read it. I first met Amos Fortune this winter of 2022. Even though he died in 1801, I say "met," because he was a man whom everyone would want for a friend. 

Despite all the pain he came through - including being captured by another tribe and sold into slavery in his teens, spending decades earning money to buy the freedom of more than just himself, losing loved ones, and sometimes being mistreated - Amos had a soft and grateful heart. 

It wasn't easy, but he lived out his faith in a very practical way and learned the value of following Jesus' direction to turn the other cheek.

"Amos watched the fire climb slowly at first, starting from a dozen different places; then like a wall of destruction it moved up the steep sides until the flames met and linked in a vast pyramid of fire at the summit, consuming everything that could be consumed and leaving the mountain bare and smoldering.

"Hate could do that to a man, Amos thought, consume him and leave him smoldering. But he was a free man, and free at a great cost, and he would not put himself in bondage again."

His gravestone in New Hampshire reads:

Sacred

to the memory of

Amos Fortune

who was born free in

Africa a slave in America

he purchased liberty

professed Christianity

lived reputably and

died hopefully

Nov. 17, 1801

Aet. 91

Nevertheless ... Hereafter

 

'Nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven' - Matthew 26:64

"Ah, Lord, thou wast in thy lowest state when before thy persecutors thou wast made to stand like a criminal! Yet the eyes of thy faith could see beyond thy present humiliation into the future glory. What words are these, 'Nevertheless -- hereafter'! I would imitate thy holy foresight, and in the midst of poverty, or sickness, or slander, I also would say, 'Nevertheless -- hereafter.' Instead of weakness, thou hast all power; instead of shame, all glory; instead of derision, all worship. Thy cross has not dimmed the splendour of thy crown, neither has the spittle marred the beauty of thy face. Say, rather, thou art the more exalted and honoured because of thy sufferings.

"So, Lord, I also would take courage from the 'hereafter.' I would forget the present tribulation in the future triumph. Help thou me by directing me into thy Father's love and into thine own patience, so that when I am derided for thy name I may not be staggered, but think more and more of the hereafter, and, therefore, all the less of today. I shall be with thee soon and behold thy glory. Wherefore, I am not ashamed, but say in my inmost soul, 'Nevertheless -- hereafter.'"

- C.H. Spurgeon, Cheque Book of the Bank of Faith, May 30

Keeping Every Promise

"The Christian is, by definition, a hopeful person. That hope is not artificial self-projection. It is produced in us by God's promises. Because we love and trust the Lord, we believe the promises He has given in His word. They have become the spectacle lenses through which we view everything - and that is what injects the melody of hope into our lives.

"Hope does not put us to shame"; it doesn't let us down or disappoint us. Why? Because "God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" (Romans 5 v 5).

"What does this mean? Our biggest hope is for everlasting life: for heaven and all that will follow it in the new heavens and earth. Being sure of that, even although we don't yet experience it, changes everything. It is like light appearing at the end of the tunnel, dispersing the total darkness that engulfs us. It enables us to see our way forward.

"...The logic goes like this: if you spend £500 to pay for a holiday, but then discover there is an additional £10 taxi fare to be paid to get you from the airport to your destination, you're not going to turn back. No, since you have already paid so much, of course you will pay the extra. The same logic applies here. If God has kept His major promise by giving His Son for you and to you, you can be sure He will keep every promise He has made.

"That is why His love is the foundation not only for faith but also for hope. And that hope lasts; it will never fail. It is a hope that we can hold on to even when we are suffering, even when life seems to be unravelling at the seams, even when our worst nightmares are coming true. We can still have hope, because God kept His biggest promise, His oldest and costliest promise, when Love came down at Christmas."

- from Love Came Down at Christmas by Sinclair B. Ferguson

[Our family appreciated the book quoted above for our month of advent readings last December. As you can see, the truths contained are anything but limited to Christmas. I needed the reminders again now! And the photos in this post are July in Mom's garden.]

His Father said...

Here's an encouraging bit of Amy Carmichael in the little book from Dohnavur Fellowship called His Thoughts said... His Father said...

"His thoughts said, The way is rough.
     His Father said, But every step
     bringeth thee nearer to thy Home.

"His thoughts said, The fight is fierce.
     His Father said, He who is near to
     his Captain is sure to be a target
     for the archers.

"His thoughts said, The night is long.
     His Father said, But joy cometh
     in the morning."

     • Amy Carmichael

Read more excerpts in this earlier post.

Waiting Room Hymns

 

On my first visit to Dr. V. (see previous post) seven years ago, I was blessed to hear a hymn playing in the waiting room: "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus." Not that they were playing Christian music. Somehow, this one just ended up on the mixed album they were playing that day. Actually, I know how... a loving God was taking care of His hurting, scared child in the way He knew would touch her best.

For years I had forgotten that special moment until I was just now recalling another special gift from just this week. At my final appointment with this amazing doctor (the day before she retired) I was brought to tears by once again hearing a hymn among the variety of modern and classical "background music." It was the perfect hymn for this day of saying goodbye to the doctor who was able to diagnose Elsa and me and help our bodies begin to dig out of a decade of damage, as well as who found my thyroid cancer when it was only stage one. As we moved into a future of more unknowns, I heard notes and harmonies that told me:

"Be still, my soul! the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;"

And then the lines that really got me...

"Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.

"Be still, my soul! thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

My doctor called me for a blood draw just then, so I had to explain the tears. As she entered her own season of changes and unknowns, she had to try to keep back the tears too.

P.S. - As a bonus, this last appointment also contained a second hymn: "Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross"

[Pictures from camping near our clinic this week.]

Seven Years our Doctor

 

Seven years ago, God used a cookbook from the library to lead Elsa and me to a doctor who could finally diagnose and help our bodies begin to heal and fight back after a decade of decline.

We are so thankful for Dr. V (whom I decided not to show in the photo without permission.) As Elsa says, she has been like "six doctors in one." So it took a bit to adjust to the news that she needed to retire.

Yesterday was our last appointment. God has brought us so far from the years when we could hardly sit up through the hour or two of in-depth consultation and would then be completely wiped out for days.

But as we are still far from healed, God has given peace that He will once again lead us to the next, right doctor for us.

~ ▪︎ ~

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Meanwhile, we enjoyed many gifts on this short medical trip, including:

• Camping in a new-to-us state park with beautiful river, amazing plants, friendly butterflies, and swarms of glittering fireflies
• Offline days with zero cell-phone reception among the bluffs
• A rare treat while stocking up on special-diet groceries at our nearest Whole Foods and Trader Joe's [4 hrs from home]
• Coming safely home again to Mom, roses, and cats

Sing in the Storm

"The birds, the poets of the animal creation—what though they never get beyond the lyrical! —awoke to utter their own joy, and awake like joy in others of God's children."

George MacDonald in Alec Forbes of Howglen

Our bright and cheery-voiced Baltimore Orioles came back to us May 10th!

"How cheery the bird song which was going on in spite of everything! Or perhaps the birds found no fault with the rain. I want to be like that, said Rotha to herself; not to be out of the storm, but to be able to sing through it. And that is what people are meant to do, I think."

Susan Warner in The Letter of Credit

[one of last summer's stray robin-nestlings]

Even When We Cannot See

Another encouraging note from the ministry of Ellerslie.com:

"Are we willing to trust our God implicitly, even when we cannot see the end of the story? If our answer is yes, we will watch God turn all that is meant for evil to good; we will see Him restore what has been lost. We may not see the evidence of this miracle immediately. But as we surrender and trust, His power is already at work even when we cannot see it. May we never forget that we serve a God of redemption; a God who delights to turn our mourning into dancing, as we put our hope in Him."
— Eric Ludy

"We wait in hope for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in His holy name.
May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 33:20-22

His Blessings Flow

Doesn't it appear that this world is reeling under the sin-birthed curse more and more every year? 

And so, I find it wonderful to come back to the carols of Christmas once again and sing hope-filled truths, such as:

He comes to make
His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found.

Do you recognize that carol?

As my family and I sing through the Christmas section of our hymnal this year - one carol each evening with our advent reading - we came on Sunday to the familiar clarion-call of George Frederick Handel's one-octave scale. 

  

Joy to the world!

"Why?" you may ask. What is there to bring joy this Christmas??

Thankfully we have the same reason for joy this year as for twenty centuries past: Emmanuel - God with us!

The Lord is come!

Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift! 
- 2 Corinthians 9:15

Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And heav'n and nature sing.

Joy to the earth! the Savior reigns;
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love.

Isaac Watts, 1719 

As a bonus, read Psalm 98, on which these words [written 301 years ago!] were based. You can find the Psalm by clicking here.