Brain Rewiring Newsletter & Encouraging Phone Wallpapers

 I have only mentioned Brain Rewiring a few times on this blog, but it is still a daily focus in this healing journey. So much so that I am just starting a newsletter for those who are interesting in learning more about healing the Limbic System and lowering the Chronic Stress Response from a Biblical perspective. 

This monthly [at most] offering contains:
- Mindset & Brain Rewiring Tips
- Biblical Encouragement
- Free Phone Wallpaper Download

You are welcome to sign up here: Hannah's Newsletter

As it says at the above link: 

Nearly a decade into her chronic illness journey, Hannah was led to Brain Rewiring to begin to heal her Limbic System which was stuck in the Chronic Stress Response. Due to the intricate brain/body connection, this focus on healing at deeper levels is having positive physical impacts and helping Hannah get back to LIFE!

Chronic Lyme and Stress

My family and I pulled ticks off ourselves countless times every year growing up here on the prairie, but back then our immune systems were so good that our bodies naturally kept any infections under control.

It wasn't until a wide range of stressors (physical, environmental, and more) came to the overflowing point that our Limbic Systems (part of the nervous system control center deep in the brain) couldn't handle it, and we crashed physically.

With years of supplements, protocols, and avoidance of all the things we were suddenly sensitive to helped somewhat, it wasn't until we started addressing the Limbic System dysfunction that we could even hope to get to the root of all the issues stemming from our bodies being stuck in the chronic stress response.

Want to learn more? There is a free workshop going on this week with so much helpful information! You can join here if interested: 

https://www.limbicsystemrewire.com/sensitivityworkshop

[Replays are available during the event even if you do not have a Facebook account to watch it live.]

~ Hannah

P.S. - Know anyone who could find this information helpful? Feel free to share this post!

Tips for Tick Season

How many of you have already found a tick attached this year? Even though I don't play or work in the tall grass like I did when young, ticks find their way to me every year regardless. We even found a deer tick crawling on our kitchen counter one year!

When a wood tick perched on my shoulder this spring, I took the opportunity to use it for a little teaching. (See the brief video HERE)

We often shudder when we hear how people are removing ticks from their children - knowing that they could be causing more harm than good by using popular methods to make the tick release. See below for why some methods are actually dangerous. 

The goal is to get a little skin off to be sure you have the tick's head. (In my video, that tick took away no skin because it was so newly attached that it chose to let go on its own when being pestered.)

• Use a Tick Key for removal from people and animals.

• NEVER use hot match heads or essential oils for removal. They upset a tick so much that it "spits" any disease it may be carrying into your body!

• Save essential oil use for after removal:

    • Oregano is known for its antibacterial/antibiotic properties. But the oil is strong, so be sure to dilute it in a carrier oil before applying. 

    • Peppermint dilution is used to inhibit the gathering of co-infections at the site of the bite. (Many people have a previous infection that their immune system keeps under check. But a fresh one can interact with the old bugs and cause many more problems. This initial interaction is what doctors now believe the bull's eye rash comes from. Picture a "meet and greet party.")

• For extra peace of mind or to direct further treatment, labs are available to test your tick for Lyme disease. (We are thankful that a deer tick on my niece this spring turned out "clean"!)

Trust me... you do not want Lyme disease to go undiagnosed for years until chronic illness takes over more and more of your body systems.

The Dilemma of Balance

Today's post is all excerpted from 
Waiting for a Miracle: Devotions for Those Who Are Physically Weak by Jan Markell

"Being ill is a full-time job without vacations or other fringe benefits. And it's a balancing act of the greatest magnitude! Balancing activity and anticipation with a daily routine of needed rest and quiet is not an easy assignment. 

Balance is also needed in interpersonal relationships. We wonder if we should keep our dilemma private, or speak too often about it and risk the flight of loved ones. Should we ask for help and risk being a burden, or should we maintain some independence which can bring on isolation and other problems? Should we push ourselves socially in the interest of our mental health, or should we play it safe and virtually vegetate, thus allowing rest therapy a better chance of bringing recovery from our affliction?

Keeping a good balance thus involves a "pick and choose" mind-set. We must keep ourselves maintained for that is our priority. Everything else must be assigned a lower priority and some things just have to be let go for a time. Letting go is one of the most difficult assignments, for it is not just the act of letting go, but embracing the mind-set of acceptance at the same time.

Living among healthy people who have no restrictions offers us overwhelming temptation to depart from a strict recovery program that includes a needed balance. Well people will want us to make commitments, which can be a double-edged sword. With commitment there is anticipation; however, there is also the dread of not being able to follow through with that commitment. Then anticipation turns to stress, stress to anxiety, and anxiety to even poorer health.

Even good stress needs balance. Good stress is an event or opportunity that involves fun, activity, and people we love. It involves fellowship, caring, sharing, and love. But it also may involve too many people, too much talking, and too much activity. Then we're back to square one.

To arrive at a proper level of balance amidst affliction takes the help of Holy Spirit discernment. At the start of each new day, we need to seek God's guidance for the hours before us. We don't want to squander them; rather, we should make every minute count, not just for God, but for our recovery process.

Finding balance in an unbalanced world with the complication of affliction can only be accomplished by surrendering our day to the will of God. He will redeem it and make it count, even if in our eyes it seems but a wasteland. God does all things well, and he specializes in turning ugliness into beauty and wastelands into gardens."

For Further Meditation

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD (Psalm 31:24).

But now, LORD, what do I look for? My hope is in you (Ps. 39:7).

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God (Ps. 42:5).

But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more (Ps. 71:14).

You were wearied by all your ways, but you would not say, "It is hopeless." You found renewal of your strength, and so you did not faint (Isaiah 57:10).

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).

Posts with further excerpts from Jan Markell's book:

Delayed Response 

Acceptance and Celebrations

In Every Season

Waiting Tests Faith

Mold

As promised some time back, it is time to give a little update that may explain why my posts have gotten so rare and impersonal. 

The short answer is: LIFE.

I'm sure you can relate!

But the longer answer may be surprising as much of it can be summed up by the word: BASEMENT.

This summer we began to sort basement storage with the purpose of paring down. Why? Because of mycotoxins.

To back up: Did you know that around 75% of the population does not have noticeable trouble from the mold in their homes? But that leaves 25% of us who get ill from it. Sometimes severely and chronically ill.

"But, I thought you had Chronic Lyme disease," you say?

True! But that frequently goes hand in hand with other chronic conditions, thanks to genetic tendencies and/or the way these organisms work together in our bodies to take down the immune system. 

In many ways, Elsa and I have hit a plateau in our healing since beginning to doctor 8 years ago, and we have long suspected one of the big reasons for that.

MOLD.

For those curious about the science and how it relates to our house and health, I've included a few facts at the end of this post where the rest of you can ignore it.

But four years ago, Elsa and I were tested to have toxic levels of several kinds of mycotoxins in our bodies. Since then Mom has also been diagnosed with CIRS due to mold toxicity.

So, along with our usual summer and autumn activities of flower and vegetable gardening (Mom and Dad), harvesting and preserving the produce, knitting for The Nautical Nordic on Etsy (H&E), camping at the lake a few nights, mowing lawn and practicing trumpet (D), enjoying some Auntie/Grandparent time (while waiting for Baby #2 around Christmas!!!), resuming a few piano lessons (H), cooking nearly everything from scratch and washing endless dishes (M,H&E)...

…We have been dealing with the first stages of mold remediation, including:
- Two phone calls with our mold consultant on the east coast
- Having a mold inspector here twice (he normally only visits once, but our house was more complex due to unusual building methods and some still-mysterious areas of high mold-counts)
- Working on extra mold investigation as directed by the professionals
- Going through reams of daunting reports that sometimes make us wonder if we just need to build a new house
- Getting in touch with a mold remediator who will soon be coming to look over the job

At the bare minimum, we need to professionally remediate a closet on first floor and bathroom on the top floor plus have our entire original basement gutted and micro-cleaned. Then we must hire a foundation expert to stop the constant source of moisture coming through our foundation walls.

Thanks to many hours of help from family and friends, we got the basement emptied before the snow flew! But even though we had as much HEPA vacuuming done as possible before things were brought up (plus air-washing outdoors before most of what we kept was stored in the garage), we have been more ill again from all the disturbed mycotoxins. 

The severe case of shingles in one of our household (for which I earlier asked for prayer) was a tough result. Thankfully after a month of only about 3 hours of sleep per night, improvement is finally being seen by about 6 hours a night and less pain. Thanks for continued prayers!

"Now to Him who is able
to do far more abundantly
than all that we ask or think,
according to the power at work within us,
to Him be glory..."

Ephesians 3:20-21

---------------------------------

For those who want a good overview of how Mold, Lyme, and CIRS work together and a tip-of-the-iceberg look at what we are dealing with physically, check out this October 19, 2021 podcast of "Susie Larson Live" [an author and speaker from St. Paul, MN] with guest Dr. Jill Carnahan, MD:
https://myfaithradio.com/program_podcast/dr-jill-carnahan-mold-toxicity/

And a bit of the science:

85% of the time, the mold illness issue in homes is not from living spores, but old, dead mold, which is actually more dangerous. It dries and breaks into tiny fungal fragments. The amount of toxic fragments is 300-500 times higher than actual mold spores in a home. In addition, there are even smaller and more harmful poisonous chemical compounds produced by mold: mycotoxins.

The mycotoxins found to be at high levels in our bodies include:

- Aflatoxin: which is produced by the Aspergillus flavus in our house and can cause liver issues

- Octratoxin A: which is produced by at least the two following molds in our house and is damaging to the kidneys, suppresses the immune system, and is linked to cognitive issues, brain fog, memory loss, Alzheimers, crippling fatigue, and much more.
    -- Aspergillus niger, which is at least 26 times higher than normal here
    -- Aspergillus ochraceus, which is 100 fold higher than normal in our house; colonizes in the gut and occasionally also in lungs and sinuses

Our house also tests 10-fold higher than normal for Penicillium crustosum, which lowers the immune system and increases the risk of opportunistic infections, such as Lyme, co-infections, and Candida... all of which we are being treated for.

Then there is Chaetomium, which is hairy and hard to get off/out of possesions. It sticks in sheetrock, fabric, paper, furniture, mattresses, pillows, etc., which causes some families to have to move away from basically all of their possessions if they are going to get well. We are not currently looking at this severe of a response since we have been able to make some progress in healing even while living in our current situation.

These test results come from the dust all over our two upper floors. Even if the basement is the primary source, the toxins are all throughout our living areas.

A Bit of Chronic History

After all those posts on history via good books, this could be a let-down! In no way do I assume the history of my family's health struggles has the same level of interest to readers in general. 😄 

But for those who need "companionship" or encouragement on their own journeys through life with chronic illness, I occasionally mention how it affects our daily life. It helped Elsa and me in the early years to run across a couple others online who were "in the same boat" - letting us know we weren't alone or crazy and that others had faced similar disabling and confusing sets of symptoms.

But I am not sure if I have ever really summarized our diagnoses here. So for those who are interested, feel free to read on. (It will be very abridged and incomplete anyway.) 

For the rest of you, here a few, non-medical "fun facts" and old photos by way of introduction. 

I am a daughter (and daughter of the King!), sister, aunt, part time piano teacher and full time Chronic-Lyme warrior. I enjoy music making, audiobook narration [Storytime with HannahMary], being out in God's creation, travel/missions-trips & camping with my family, sailing, skiing, sending hand-written snail-mail, learning to watercolor... 

But most accessible these years are the joys of knitting for my sister's Etsy shop [TheNauticalNordic] while we listen to audio-books together.

I have 3/4 Norwegian blood in my veins, grew up with a large family of stuffed animals, have been roommates with my younger sister, Elsa, all but a few months since she was born, and pretended I had a Corvette in/after college!

My sister and I have been treating Chronic Lyme Disease (etc.) full-time for the past 7 years. Elsa has even more daily symptoms to battle with than I. [Find her at: http://reachingtotheskies.blogspot.com] She had to close her bakery and I drop most of my piano students in 2014 when the symptoms finally became disabling after wearing us down for years.

We did not then realize that the “worst flu of our lives” back in 2005 was actually a vector-borne disease. So we ended up with Lyme, Bartonella, and apparently other co-infections as well. This slowly but surely brought down our immune systems and clogged our detoxification pathways (already impaired due to genetics). This led to extreme levels of heavy metal and mycotoxin/mold toxicities, socially-isolating Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, many food sensitivities, and more.

Some of our symptoms have been: chronic muscle and myofascial pain, extreme fatigue and muscle weakness, brain fog, insomnia, sound and light sensitivity, night sweats, sudden onset of allergies and sensitivities, blood sugar issues, neurological damage, adrenal dysfunction and other hormone issues, whole-body “jitters,” dizziness, nausea, migraines, eyes not tracking... We are still digging our way out of years of damage but are overall seeing some clear progress, praise God!

Both of our parents have dealt with acute Lyme a couple times as well, and our mom seems to have more of the chronic symptoms building up along with a diagnosis of CIRS. Two years ago Lyme became a “whole-family tradition” when our older sister ended up with large and spreading bull's-eye rashes from a tick bite while pregnant with our nephew.

To avoid the baby ending up in NICU for months after birth - as happened with our doctor’s relative who did not treat her Lyme during pregnancy... or even worse results that we have heard of - our sister was on 2 antibiotics until her baby was three months old and then on strong herbal treatments for several more months. We are so thankful that mother and son are both doing very well more than a year after treatments. Our lively nephew is such a gift and quite the exercise/strengthening plan for his Aunties!

So, while our lives are still far from "normal" and every day in these bodies is more or less of a battle, God has been using these years to teach us more of His love and providence in ways we wouldn't have noticed back in our rushed, over-filled lives, when we "never had time to be bored!" and rarely had time to "Be Still."

Waiting Room Hymns

 

On my first visit to Dr. V. (see previous post) seven years ago, I was blessed to hear a hymn playing in the waiting room: "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus." Not that they were playing Christian music. Somehow, this one just ended up on the mixed album they were playing that day. Actually, I know how... a loving God was taking care of His hurting, scared child in the way He knew would touch her best.

For years I had forgotten that special moment until I was just now recalling another special gift from just this week. At my final appointment with this amazing doctor (the day before she retired) I was brought to tears by once again hearing a hymn among the variety of modern and classical "background music." It was the perfect hymn for this day of saying goodbye to the doctor who was able to diagnose Elsa and me and help our bodies begin to dig out of a decade of damage, as well as who found my thyroid cancer when it was only stage one. As we moved into a future of more unknowns, I heard notes and harmonies that told me:

"Be still, my soul! the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;"

And then the lines that really got me...

"Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.

"Be still, my soul! thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

My doctor called me for a blood draw just then, so I had to explain the tears. As she entered her own season of changes and unknowns, she had to try to keep back the tears too.

P.S. - As a bonus, this last appointment also contained a second hymn: "Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross"

[Pictures from camping near our clinic this week.]

Seven Years our Doctor

 

Seven years ago, God used a cookbook from the library to lead Elsa and me to a doctor who could finally diagnose and help our bodies begin to heal and fight back after a decade of decline.

We are so thankful for Dr. V (whom I decided not to show in the photo without permission.) As Elsa says, she has been like "six doctors in one." So it took a bit to adjust to the news that she needed to retire.

Yesterday was our last appointment. God has brought us so far from the years when we could hardly sit up through the hour or two of in-depth consultation and would then be completely wiped out for days.

But as we are still far from healed, God has given peace that He will once again lead us to the next, right doctor for us.

~ ▪︎ ~

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Meanwhile, we enjoyed many gifts on this short medical trip, including:

• Camping in a new-to-us state park with beautiful river, amazing plants, friendly butterflies, and swarms of glittering fireflies
• Offline days with zero cell-phone reception among the bluffs
• A rare treat while stocking up on special-diet groceries at our nearest Whole Foods and Trader Joe's [4 hrs from home]
• Coming safely home again to Mom, roses, and cats

Sleepless Nights

April 29, 2021

Thankfully these sleepless nights where staying in bed is counterproductive are getting less common over the years. But I am also thankful to have learned to view them as a special time. I am not just sitting in the dark and pain alone, feeling my gut churning from another treatment that hit too hard. I also have hours to be ministered to by audio Bibles, audiobooks, podcasts, sermons...

This night I knit in the company of some sweet, encouraging ladies. Thanks to Leslie Ludy of Set Apart Girl for the "Beauty for Ashes" interviews with Annie W. and with Grace M. of Across Fields Studio!

[Have I mentioned before how I love the "Further Up & Further In" sticker by Grace on my computer?!]

Spring Sunshine and Pain

 

Spring is coming! And though that means much more pain for Elsa and me, we're looking for the hidden beauties God is giving each day.

The quote in my recent post by C.M. Yonge came to mind often last week as strength has dropped to a "can't even knit" level many days. 

We are thankful for some sunshine in which to "be still and know that [He] is God."

A Frosty Drive

Our December drive to spend much of a week away from home for two sets of regularly-scheduled doctor's visits began with such beauty!

He sends out His command to the earth;
    His word runs swiftly.
He gives snow like wool; 
    He scatters frost like ashes.

Psalm 147:15-16 (ESV)

And though I have shared this quote before, it's worth sharing again:

"Oh, Matthew, isn't it a wonderful morning? The world looks like something God had just imagined for His own pleasure, doesn't it? Those trees look as if I could blow them away with a breath - pouf! 

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are white frosts, aren't you?" 

Anne of Green Gables, chapter XVIII

A Rare Bike Ride and Its Consequences

When growing up, it seemed we used our bikes 

almost as much as our legs! Every year we 

looked forward to zipping 5-16 miles a day on 

paved bike trails while staying at a state park 

with our cousins. Otherwise we perfected our 

balance and coordination on the slithery 

gravel around home. 

Then came adult responsibilities and years 

of entrepreneurship and caregiving... 

followed by years of chronic illness with 

hardly strength to walk around the house.

But this summer Elsa and I got out for a 

delightful bike ride again! First we pedaled 

into the strong wind that tempered a hot sun, 

past the old schoolhouse...

... stopping to look at a wild rose, then listened 

to the wind swish through a wheat field as we 

coasted back home being pushed from behind.



But those 2-plus miles of joy carry a big 

price tag for Elsa who has been battling 

another adrenal near-crisis for months past. 

Would you pray for her? It is so hard to 

have days where she cannot even knit - 

let alone tackle the house work and 

cooking she feels calling her.

"We wait in hope for the LORD;

He is our help and our shield.

In Him our hearts rejoice, 

for we trust in His holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, 

O LORD,

even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 33:20-22

Playing with Wind and Waves

I see that my pre-written, pre-scheduled 

posts ran out several days ago. Today 

may not be the day to fill up the "queue" 

again. But I will show one joy from the week...

The sailboat brought us soaring 

across the lake again! The first day 

was wet and wild, but the second 

gentle and relaxing.

Dad taught us to sail when young on his 

17-foot Dolphin before buying a 14-foot 

Snark we could handle all on our own.

Both of those boats were in our barn

when it collapsed under heavy snow

years back. Just a few years ago, they

were replaced with this New-Zealand 

designed, tri-hull Weta.

It doesn't take much wind to make 

this thing go! It is even fun to sail solo.

Elsa was too young to want to learn 

the mechanics of sailing our old boats. 

And her neurological damage from 

Lyme-etc. is still not allowing it. 

So for now she helps run the jib-sheets. 

And someday, she'll have the tiller in

her hand as well!

I thought how God must smile 

to see His children playing in the 

wonders of His creation!