Feeling Warmer

After a week or so with temperatures in the 50's and 60's, these 20's and 30's feel cold again.  But if I just look back at photos from January, maybe I'll feel warmer. :-)

               

It's 20 below zero! Aren't we going back in soon?!

Not only were the wool scarf and mittens satisfying to make, they are also wonderful to wear!

Two Steps Forward...

Two steps forward. One step back.

Isn't that how the saying goes?

How about: 1 step forward. 0.9 step back.

That's how life often goes - in many areas. 

I wrote last week of seeing progress.  And though that still stands, there are always the steps backward which are not fun. Last week I wrote that I "Made it [to church] today & managed not to wear earplugs or lay down."  This week I made it to church, but even wearing earplugs did not keep my brain from crumbling.

Another area where forward progress is punctuated by much in the opposite direction is knitting. 

This sweater (my first) has been knit backwards and torn off the needles for unraveling nearly as much as it has seen forward progress since I began in January.

Picking up 200 stitches after unraveling

Despite measuring well and regularly trying on, there came a point where I realized the torso was not fitting well. A closer look at the pattern reveals that this is the way it was designed, but not the way it was pictured -- the way which made me want to buy the pattern.

1.5 sweaters in one

So, I ripped it back up to the sleeves -  a week or more of work at the pace I was then knitting - and set it aside for a while until I could face "winging it" with my own shaping.

After a week or so I forced myself back to what had previously been a fun project. My fears have been more than justified as I inch my way forward only to find the shape getting wrong and having to rip back again and again.

But, as another knitter and I were discussing, it seems the more you knit, the easier it is to rip back or even restart altogether.

Why?!

Maybe because experience helps us learn how much the extra effort will be worth it.

Or possibly, the more times it happens - the more examples you can remember of how you made it through and past each setback.

And it helps that the more you rip out - the better and faster you get at making up the lost ground.

So, my sweater got me thinking...  

Am I more willing to accept my setbacks in other areas than I used to be? Specifically regarding health these years? Maybe. Some days, but not others.

It helps to know that I have come through these setbacks before. 

And it helps to see how I can bounce back faster than I used to.  

But I still have trouble remembering that the extra rest will be worth it.

Which brings me back to why this blog began:

To slow down... see... hear... remember... reflect... trust.... to enjoy!

To "be still and know that [He] is God."

He will finish the good work He began in our lives - no matter what we perceive as set-backs.

Two Years Later

Today marks two years since my health crumbled from the ongoing assault of Chronic Lyme, Bartonella, etc.

Two years ago on a weekday I was teaching piano lessons and getting weaker by the hour. Then I started itching. Allergies of all sorts took over from that day on. Then the intense weakness set in. I would be using a wheelchair even to get to the bathroom in the weeks and months ahead.

When another family of students walked through the church door I could no longer hide the fact that I was not doing well. Thankfully they were also understanding friends who knew what my sister Elsa had been going through since her health crashed a month earlier. That dear mother let me lay down on the church pew, called my next student to cancel, and would have driven me home. But thankfully Maren was also in town teaching and was soon ready.

That day I joined Elsa on the couch - our new "home."

Two years later we still spend a lot of time with our couch. We are still battling diseases and all the damage they have caused on a daily basis. Some days it feels like we're not getting anywhere. But as our doctor said again last month, "You are going the right direction... just not as fast as we would want."

Thankfully if we look back a year or two we can see clear improvement!

THEN:
Couldn't look at a computer screen 10 minutes

NOW:

Can occasionally blog! (I schedule them to publish more often than I can write.)

Couldn't read; Listened to audiobooks.

Can read most days; Sometimes even aloud for family or others on Librivox.

Couldn't get to church in the morning

Made it there today & managed not to wear earplugs or lay down

Could hardly sit up to eat meals

Can often help get my meal together and even clean up after

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! He is sustaining us, teaching us, and leading us through this "desert."

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. 

As they pass through the Valley of Baca [weeping/desert], they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. 

They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion."
Psalm 84:5-7

Daily Gifts

Have you ever counted your gifts?

I don't mean like a child seeing how many gifts they have under the Christmas tree - making sure no one else got more than them.

I mean, have you ever taken the time to stop and notice all the daily gifts God gives us?  Have you ever written them down?

Several years ago I was visiting a friend half way across the country when I came down with a nasty food-borne illness. As I lay in bed shivering under piles of blankets and pillows, she gave me a book to read. 

In One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp shares how she is learning to "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (I Thessalonians 5:18)

And so, my friend challenged me to think of seven things I was thankful for - even as she brought me to the clinic for antibiotics.

Before long I was writing them down as tangible reminders of God's faithful care and love. I began counting His everyday gifts to me.

Soon my first little book filled up. Then a second. Then a bigger book...

The next Thanksgiving Day that came along, I read through the several hundred gifts I had already recorded. Wow!! (I can't explain it better than that. You just have to try it for yourself!)

One day came the milestone of One Thousand Gifts. The number that Ann Voskamp challenged me to reach.

But I couldn't stop there. I have kept coming back to this discipline through the years. At times it has been the overflow of a joyful, blessed heart.  

At other times it has been a purposeful task to redirect my thoughts and emotions.

  

But no matter how I approach this list,
I don't want to just work up a thankful "feeling,"
but actually to:

"Praise GOD, from Whom all blessings flow."

"Let us daily praise God for common mercies - common as we frequently call them, and yet so priceless that when deprived of them we are ready to perish."Charles Spurgeon

Tulips and Roses

On the long drive home from appointments, we stop at the nearest Trader Joe's.
(3+ hours from home)

This time, Elsa brought Mom home some tulips that we all got to enjoy.

And Dad brought Mom some spray roses. They mixed so beautifully!

Elsa got much nicer photos of the blossoms at their freshest here. 

But we enjoyed every stage of their growth (you did know that tulips grow exponentially in a vase, right?!) and even of their decline.

Water Weekly

It's time to water my 10 pots of orchids again.

The job is extra enjoyable when they are blooming!

Many Miles

Our 2005 minivan rolled over to 200,000 miles on this February trip for doctor's appointments.

We are thankful for this comfortable, reliable vehicle and plan to put many more miles on it!