Hope in Chronic Pain and Isolation

Did you know...

A person can get so accustomed to isolation
(by God's grace) that they hardly notice a month of "staying at home" after living that way for six-plus years? Yes, the losses and loneliness hit hard when chronic illness first takes over a life. In the early months when friends are thinking of you and checking in, it doesn't fully sink in. Plus you don't expect life to stay that hard for too long.

But when months turn into years and when most of your friends move on with their lives and accidentally leave you behind, there comes a new season of struggle, of learning to let go and adjust and trust God in the dark.

So the "stay at home" orders have hardly made a noticeable change for my sister Elsa and me. Isolation became "normal" long ago.

But chronic pain is another story...

You may think you're used to living and working through constant pain after years of no other option. But when it ramps up again so that it's hard to breathe or think, and not even knitting and audiobooks can mask it, you remember again how desperately you need a solid foundation for your hope and reason to get up each day.

It was on one of those days this week when I could hardly take the next breath that God gave a whole string of gifts at just the right time.

A cold and then allergenic spring had kept us shut indoors so far, but I suddenly knew I had to get outside - no matter the temps. On with the down coat, wool scarf, and yak-down hat and mitts over the alpaca poncho, wool socks, long underwear and slippers (and more!) which I already was wearing indoors. Out to a camping chair on the deck wrapped in a blanket.

And on with the Psalms. (ESV audio-Bible, courtesy of SonicBiblia.org)

After a few beautiful chapters, one grabbed me in a new way, and I had to listen and read it over and over to slowly absorb the truth into my weak brain.

David often talks about his enemies, and the introduction to Psalm 56 points out exactly which enemies he meant this time. But we can be attacked by different kinds of foes these days which are no less real. So I began to read it this way:

"Be gracious to me, O God, for [illness] tramples on me; all day long [pain] oppresses me...

When I am afraid [or every nerve is frayed], I put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh [...even this body] do to me?

"You have kept count of my tossings [during sleepless night hours and pain-filled days];

put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

"This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise, in God I trust... For You have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life."

While still feeding on the hope found in this truth, I found myself absorbing a rare, new gift -- SUNSHINE! Off with the down, the alpaca, the yak, and the wool. On with the shady hat given by a friend last year.

The next few hours were a time of rest and healing and a nice visit with our first socially-distanced visitor - an aunt. 
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Elsa had joined me in the sun where we knit to a chorus of birdsong and the rich testimonies of God's faithfulness through the long (and sometimes very painful) life of Corrie Ten Boom. I highly recommend her book "In My Father's House" if you haven't read it yet!
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Even more, I recommend reading or listening to the Psalms to realign your focus and feed your hope as you face your own challenges while you stay at home.
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"We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." ~ Psalm 33:20-22