Prisoners at Home

"Be Still" - scene from YouTube video of
Let My Heart Be Quiet by ForeverBeSure

Five years have passed since I first started missing church now and then due to Chronic Fatigue and the slow take-over of Lyme disease compounded by co-infections, heavy metal and mold toxicities, digestive deterioration and more. 

Even after Elsa and I reached our lowest points in February and March of 2014, we were still making it to church occasionally - with earplugs to try to keep our weakened brains from being even more overwhelmed and often spending most of the time laying on the floor at the back of church. 

In time, chemical sensitivities took over and we made it to church only once a month... then a few times a year - knowing we would pay dearly and long for each of those intense levels of exposure to our triggers (perfumes, hair products, laundry detergents, cleaning supplies, scented soaps...) 

Now we make it to church for only the occasional funeral or holiday service. Who would have thought we would be "one of those people" after growing up [usually] glad to go to church three times a week! 

Our pastor asked Mom recently, "So, they're basically prisoners at home?" 

Yes, and no.

Earlier in this journey we felt more like prisoners. But now, partly from familiarity and majorly through God's grace, staying at home with Elsa and our Lord is less and less of a prison and more and more of a gift.

Today we are missing the annual Harvest Festival at church complete with a pot-luck, meaningful talks from a Bible-translator who grew up in our church, and special autumn desserts. Then Mom and Dad are heading over to our sister's place where she and her husband are hosting their little church for supper and an evening "Sing and Share."

But this morning I got up, dressed a little nicer than in my usual weekday "comfies" and felt the anticipation of spending the Lord's Day quietly at home again. No matter what time Elsa and I end up being able to crawl out of bed and settle on the couch together, I know we have a special day ahead including a recording of last week's church service, singing if we have the strength, and praying together.

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."  --  Matthew 18:19-20

As much as we wish each other did not have to go through this, we know it is a rare gift to walk this road together. And that is why I sometimes share from our trials and pain - hoping it may bring companionship and encouragement to those of you who are walking through your valleys alone. [...humanly speaking, that is. God's children are never alone! And even Elsa and I would have very little grace for each other on some of our sick days, but for God walking with us.]

This quiet Sunday morning while eating a breakfast of leftover meatballs and homegrown spaghetti squash, I found some new music to set the tone for the day. I encourage you to click the song title below and rest in God's presence today.

Let My Heart Be Quiet by Heather Schopf of Forever Be Sure 

"Lord, let my heart be quiet..."

"And daily help me choose to let my inward man be still..."

"...So that Your voice my quiet mind can fill."

Then if you are ready for something more lively yet still full of truth and power, check out this message we watched while eating our quiet dinner on the couch (that's the noon meal around here - every day of the week!).

"Restored Through Brokenness" - a message from Dr. Eric Mason at the recent TrueWoman '18 conference