Two steps forward. One step back.
Isn't that how the saying goes?
How about: 1 step forward. 0.9 step back.
That's how life often goes - in many areas.
I wrote last week of seeing progress. And though that still stands, there are always the steps backward which are not fun. Last week I wrote that I "Made it [to church] today & managed not to wear earplugs or lay down." This week I made it to church, but even wearing earplugs did not keep my brain from crumbling.
Another area where forward progress is punctuated by much in the opposite direction is knitting.
This sweater (my first) has been knit backwards and torn off the needles for unraveling nearly as much as it has seen forward progress since I began in January.
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| Picking up 200 stitches after unraveling |
Despite measuring well and regularly trying on, there came a point where I realized the torso was not fitting well. A closer look at the pattern reveals that this is the way it was designed, but not the way it was pictured -- the way which made me want to buy the pattern.
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| 1.5 sweaters in one |
So, I ripped it back up to the sleeves - a week or more of work at the pace I was then knitting - and set it aside for a while until I could face "winging it" with my own shaping.
After a week or so I forced myself back to what had previously been a fun project. My fears have been more than justified as I inch my way forward only to find the shape getting wrong and having to rip back again and again.
But, as another knitter and I were discussing, it seems the more you knit, the easier it is to rip back or even restart altogether.
Why?!
Maybe because experience helps us learn how much the extra effort will be worth it.
Or possibly, the more times it happens - the more examples you can remember of how you made it through and past each setback.
And it helps that the more you rip out - the better and faster you get at making up the lost ground.
So, my sweater got me thinking...
Am I more willing to accept my setbacks in other areas than I used to be? Specifically regarding health these years? Maybe. Some days, but not others.
It helps to know that I have come through these setbacks before.
And it helps to see how I can bounce back faster than I used to.
But I still have trouble remembering that the extra rest will be worth it.
Which brings me back to why this blog began:
To slow down... see... hear... remember... reflect... trust.... to enjoy!
To "be still and know that [He] is God."
He will finish the good work He began in our lives - no matter what we perceive as set-backs.
Hi Hannah, this post (and the one called two years later) were very timely for me to read today. Like you, I am dealing with chronic illness, and suffered a major setback about a year ago. Currently, I am able to teach a little and daily function is improving, but it still seems so slow, and hard to remember that all of the extra rest is worth it. When I'm feeling discouraged, it helps to know someone else has been here and made it through. I appreciate how you bring the focus back to God and what He is doing - it helps me look for His goodness in my life, too.
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